想念。。。英国。。。

刚从英国回来...
坐在电脑面前...
不知如何是好...

还记得在英国的星期六晚...
我带着沉重的心情,
走向机场里, 在登机之前,
打了一个电话给我姐姐,
道别了之后,就上机了...

我走到机门口,
空姐告诉我应该做哪里后,
我便慢慢地走到我的位子去...
我把我的手提行李放到上头的柜子里,
走向我的位子,58a...

我坐在窗口边,
向外看出...
想不到一向不喜欢出国的我,
竟然会因为想留在英国,
而留下了眼泪...

我的眼泪,
与窗外的雨很相识...
两个都下不停...
等到了十点半,
我脸上的眼泪渐渐地停了,
我也开始有些睡意了,
但是为了留恋着一个地方,
我坚决不睡...

到了十一点零七分,
飞机终于开始启动了...
虽然窗外的雨都已经停了,
但是在我心里的雨,
却又渐渐地落下了...

我这一次与之前那一段爱情一样,
因某些理由而没有延长留在英国的时间,
在飞机开启的前一刻,
我还在想我这样做,
到底值不值得...

十三个小时的机程,
我坐在飞机里,
回想着我在英国的十七天,
我有时还是不知觉地流下了眼泪...

十三个小时就这样过了,
我抵达了机场,
拿下我的手提行李,
走向吉隆坡机场...

我乘坐了机场的一号火车,
向登记处去...

我拿出我的护照走向快速甲,
通过了以后,
我把我的护照放进手提行李,
然后向皮带G走去...
等了半个小时左右,
我的大行李就出了来...
拿了我的行李,
便推着手推车,
慢慢，慢慢地走向大门...

我看见我妈在机场门口等我,
我便向她那儿去,
把我的行李都放进了我妈的车里之后,
便坐进她的车里,
一起回家...

回到家后,
我把我的两个行李都拿上房去,
用了大概一个小时,
把所有的东西都整理好,
便坐在床上休息...

我坐在床上回想着在英国的日子,
不知不觉已到了两点多...
当时我很想找一个人来和我谈谈天天,
但是却想到了在这一个时间,
我可以找的知己都应该睡了吧...

我坐在电视机前,
看电视节目,
但虽然在看电视节目,
但我依然很想和一个人谈天...
到这一个时候,
我的眼泪,
又纷纷的落下了... ... ...

i'm back...

whao, haven't been posting for sometimes now...
was quite busy with my exam...
although i did improved...
but yet i still failed my history... ==
must worked harder on it...

anyway, many things have happened ever since i haven't posting...
school was bust with projects and till now,
i still haven't hand in my geo project...
haizz....
tired man...
but what to do?
PMR is coming...

and i still need to work on my malay and history....
my two worse subjects...
nothing to post much these days...
although a lot of things happened....
but i still forget everything...

haizz...
anyway...
maybe from now on i will be posting more often...
but depends...
i might or might not be...
if not, have to wait after PMR then...

byezz

for you ..... ..... .... ...

爱很简单

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你
有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你
真的很简单
爱得地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法决择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我
喔......
i love you
无法不爱你baby
说你也爱我
永远不愿意baby
失去你
不可能更快乐
只要能在一起
做什么都可以
虽然世界变个不停
用最真诚的心
让爱变得简单
我一直在这里baby
一直在爱你
永远都不放弃
这爱你的权利
如果你还有一些困惑
请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着爱你
yes i do

我不怕

车开往海边 我想念你
鞋子里面满载沙子和回忆
躺在沙滩上的我 闭上眼深呼吸
全世界那么安静就像在专心听
你不会晓得 好几次我想吻你吧
现在睡了吗 还是在屋顶吹著头发
你在散步的时候 还未从前流泪吗
是不是心里忽然出现另一个他
我想要说我那天没说的那句话
就算被没收我也不会怕
对 我不怕
我想要说我永远爱你的那句话
可能我说的地点有点傻
是 是我的 心里话
心里话

寂寞先生

你的笑容是恩惠
世界难得那麽美
於是追 要你陪
可惜本能终会将美丽汗水化成泪水

黑夜之所以会黑
叫醒人心里的鬼
在游说 在萦回
在体内是什麽 在把我摧毁在伤痕累累

我可以无所谓
寂寞却一直掉眼泪
人类除了擅长颓废 做什麽都不对
Oh … I’m not okay

我假装无所谓
才看不到心被拧碎
人在爱情里越残废 就会越多安慰
无论有虚伪
无论多虚伪

空虚并非是词汇
能够形容的魔鬼
它支配着行为
能摆脱寂寞我什麽都肯给 就像个傀儡

Bryan's movement...

waa.. today see some nice show..
my friend bryan confessed to sarah o...
haha...

he wrote bryan love sarah on the black board o...
lol...

wish bryan will be successful...
haha...

weekends...

haizz...
sometimes really hate weekends...
now only sunday...
at home nothing to do...
zzz..
normally love weekends so much,
but now bored of it...
haizz...
what to do?
nobody choi me already...
sms also no reply..
zzz...
bye... going to sleep again....
bored...

personality test

just now did a stupid personality test...
damn fake...
here are the result...
words in brackets are my thoughts...

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.(anybody think so? ==)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.(am i even romantic?!?!)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.(not deeply la... later cannot pull out then die... ==)

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.(everybody knows it is only 50% true ==)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.(don't think so~~)

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.(ok~~ this is true...)

日有所思，
夜有所梦。。。

你的背包

一九九五年我们在机场的车站
你借我而我不想归还
那个背包载满记念品和患难
还有摩擦留下的图案

你的背包背到现在还没烂
却成为我身体另一半
千金不换它已熟悉我的汗
它是我肩膀上的指环

背了六年半　我每一天陪它上班
你借我我就为你保管
我的朋友都说它旧的很好看
遗憾是它已与你无关

你的背包让我走的好缓慢
总有一天陪着我腐烂
你的背包对我沉重的审判
借了东西为什么不还

心跳

想跟我吵架 我没那么无聊
不懂得道歉 我没那么聪明
好想要回到我们的塬点
　　　　
你又在哭泣 我给不了安慰
我又在摇头 有那么点后悔
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走
　　　　
但身不由己出现在胸口
两颗心能塞几个问号
爱让我们流多少眼泪
　　　　
你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始 能不能给一秒 　　　
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

friends...

this one use english,
wish my friends know how to read ba...

these days eugene told me something about my old friends:
thew pey harng,
sin tuck wai...

was really frightened how much they have changed...
not for the good,
but for the bad...

pey harng didn't had much changes in him,
only...
sleep more...
don't even need eugene to say,
i can see it recently that he sleeps more than before...
tried to ask him why but then since i changed class...
almost lost our relationship since the last time...
and now i don't know how to ask him...
wanted to ask eugene to help me ask,
but come and think of it...
rather don't...
wanted to pull him back out of the trap...
he is going deeper and deeper now...
is already exam time and i still can see him sleeping in the class...
just wish there is a way that i can help...

as for tuck wai...
is like my emotion is starting to act up or something...
everytime talk to him like talking to an ice...
he is getting more and more worse since starting this year...
we hardly talk to each other because of classes different...
but then what can i do?
i must look for another way to pull him back down to the earth...

hope this two can change better...
anyone,
please help me think of a way to solve this problem...

oh ya...
here i am also going to tell my friends...
no more mr nice can be found on me again...
i won't hold back my emotion anymore...
nor will hold back my punches...
i will not tolerate anybody else who has no respect for others...
BEWARE...

sick...

haizz...
sick again...
didn't even went for a doctor for one whole year...
didn't thought that this time have to go...
haizz...

major headache man...
what the hack happen?
zzz...
sleepy again...
yesterday almost slept for one whole day man...
sleep till backache di... YY

HELP!!!

mistakes...

people makes mistake...
but knowing what you did wrong...
knowing how you made the ending...
knowing why did people made those choices...
will definitely help yourselves a lot...

think before you scolds other...
think before you blame other...
do not only see what is on the surface...
dive in, explore, always know everything,
before you even do something...

lol... luck...

this one is for zowie one...
lol,
seriously,
wish you luck on your new bfsssss...
haha...

days, times....

the day of 12th on february...
was the day that i have been waiting for...
but my choice...
is just like a son does not pick his father...
i didn't made that choice...
that choice picked me...

people tells everything that i wanted to know...
people that spend time with me...
knows very well what kind of family i come from...

they know what should be told...
what to say in front of me...
but yet...
some did not learn...

people say love can be the strongest power in life...
but yet...

i am the only one,
that will answer...
NO...

choice

sometimes when it come to a certain choice...
you don't make the choice...
the choice makes you...

the choice that we had...
have broken into pieces when that day came...
those blogs that i wrote...
was not meant to hurt you...

and that is why i said i am afraid of you breaking up with me after you see my blog...
but yet...
you took it so seriously that you said those words...
those words...
hurts...

but yet after we broke up,
we always get back together...
but this time...
after we got back together,
i surely tried to find back the feeling i felt for you...
but i failed...

just take it is me that left you alone...
now both sides got their own way to go...
just hope that the new way you find...
is what you really hope for,
and what brings you back to heaven...
hope you suceed...

23.30.27

今天是七月二号。。。
晚上十一点。
三十分，
二十七秒。。。
分手了四个小时，
四十七分钟，
三十八秒。。。

期待着二月二号的来临，
期待着能拥有美好的回忆。。。

期待着时间的过去，
期待着忘记一切。。。

在短短的两分钟，
能改变一切。。。

虽然对你还有感觉，
还很爱你。。。
但是你的一句：
“原来你叫我老婆，
都是骗我的。。。
我根本不配做你的女朋友。。。
原来，
我根本不幸福。。。”
改变了我们的结局。。。

知道伤得我最重的是什么吗？
“我根本不幸福”

分手的主要原因，
是因为我给不到你想幸福。。。
而给不到你幸福，
又何必缠绕着你呢？

其实也不能怪你啦。。。
当初，
婉祺和我分手，
都是因为我太过信任自己了。。。
而现在我们的结局，
都是因为我不够信任自己。。。

或许我根本不会爱人吧。。。
一，就不够爱。。。
二，就太过爱。。。
爱到over protective了。。。

在这一种家庭长大的我，
太过成熟了。。。
想法必然和别人不一样。。。
喜欢别人交代，
喜欢别人告诉清楚。。。

虽然还爱着你，
但是不能再接下去了。。。
因为我真的很怕，
长期累积一次爆。。。

可能分手，
是我们唯一的选择吧。。。
可能分手，
是我唯一的选择吧。。。

二月六号。。。

今天，
正式把我有blog的事实，
放上网。。。

希望不会得罪到别人吧。。。

心灵，忐忑不安。。。

新年了。。。
今天是初六。。。

不知道为什么。。。
每一次看见某一样东西，
心灵，
都会开始忐忑不安。。。

是我的心理作用吗？
还是我害怕的事情，
就来会发生呢？

能够有人告诉我，
到底在发生什么事吗？

新年。。。

今天是初二...
我家今天开了open house...
但是今天也是她，
回娘家的一天...
和上一年一样...
以为螚邀请她...
但是也不能...

两天...
要等两天我才能见到她...

虽然只是短短的五个小时而已...
我已经开始想念她了...
希望她能快点回来吧...

呗吡，
我会等你回来的...

今早。。。

今天早上，
想起我昨晚开friendster时，
想起的东西。。。
平时对她没有怀疑心的我。。。
开始了。。。

我看上friendster时。。。
发现为什么她的friendster，
会多了一个男的。。。
虽然我也有，
但是那些只不过是我的表姐而已。。。
相当奇怪。。。

而我并不应该有的感觉，
又再次冲上脑筋。。。
我就真的是开始想了。。。

如果我真的是，
换了补习中心。。。
她所寄给我的短讯，
一律不回，
在msn里，
block了她。。。
在这世上向人间蒸发一样。。。
结果会是什么？
她，
会等待我吗？
还是会找到另一个新欢？

那我到底应不应该，
去做这一个事情呢？
我这样对她公平吗？

有人能帮帮我吗？